I hooked up with a lot of people.
That definitely came from a place where i needed someone to tell me that I was attractive and beautiful. In this sense, my sexuality stemmed from this need for attention and this need for someone to validate my beauty because I didn’t get it from my parents.
Once I got to college, the floodgates opened and I got to do things that I didn’t get to do at home.
Casual sex was both oppressive and freeing at the same time. In a way, it's simple enough to say that it was freeing until it wasn’t; it started to become emotionally and physically unfulfilling. I wouldn’t even finish! How many times have I been in a situation where I didn’t finish? I was once with someone who came, got up, and started getting his stuff together... It just wasn't freeing anymore.
...with my current boyfriend, who is truly the most beautiful person inside and out, sex has been the best it has ever been for me, truly. It’s so much more passionate and I get when people say to wait to fall in love with someone because it’s so much more caring.
Engaging in sex with someone who loves me and cares about me and isn’t just engaging in sex with me for selfish reasons and who gives to me is really fulfilling and beautiful and funny.
It’s funny, you know? When we’re having sex and he’ll say something stupid or he’ll say a meme and it’s like yep… this is what I’m here for. I don’t know if I could have funny sex with someone who I know is only fucking me so he can come.
I really do like funny sex.
But what does it mean to have a freeing sexual experience in the first place?
There’s no guide-book for young people to “behave” in a healthy way. There needs to be some way to talk about intimacy and respect. Whether it’s casual sex or sex with your significant other.
Respect should always be present.
I know that I am blessed to be here in New York City and I can be loud and myself and that’s a privilege and freedom in itself... you know, having that space to be private in my bedroom with my boyfriend. I mean, sex is the one thing that puts us here on this earth but it’s the world’s biggest secret… There are countries where sex isn’t even an entity. In some cultures it’s as if it doesn’t even exist.