It’s interesting being born in Korea and growing up here and the comparison. There are parts of me, in my head that are very traditional, and there are parts of me that aren’t and it’s a constant battle between which part of me is actually going to win the next decision. While I grew up in a conservative household where every decision was/is centered around God.
I encountered a multitude of people who tried to convince me to do it even when I repeatedly said no, which was always uncomfortable and sometimes scary. That’s when I realized that my choice is not something I should be embarrassed about, but be empowered by. My decision to wait for the right person allows me find something worth waiting for and not regret staying true to my values. If I could give a word of advice to anyone that might feel insecure or isolated from their choice, I would like to remind them that your body is YOURS and nobody else’s. If someone doesn’t respect your decision or your boundaries, they’re not worth your time.
I will admit that it’s hard to live as someone who doesn’t do casual hook ups especially when we live in a hookup-centric culture. Almost every guy I meet expects that I will sleep with them even when I make it clear that I won’t, or at least not until I can fully trust that they’re not just using me for my body. I believe that I can be sexy without having sex.
I believe sexiness derives from confidence
but when people find out that I’ve never had sex-not because I’m celibate but because I haven’t found the right person- I always feel the condescending judgment in people’s response, “omg aw really? I would’ve never guessed.” Just because I know how to move and groove doesn’t mean that I have sex all the time or that I have to.
I was never ashamed of my virginity until I came to college. I always believed that there was someone out there for me that God has planned out. But living in NYC with sex being the topic of every conversation, there eventually came a point when I just wanted to get it over with...
But there's that side of me that’s open and accepting of everyone’s decision to be with whoever they want whenever they want.